


Jonathan Crane NSFW A-Z

by reanimatorjuice



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham (Video Games)
Genre: (not canonical but that's how I roll), A-Z, Gay Male Character, Gen, Headcanon, POV Second Person, jon is gay here but its only mentioned once. descriptions are as gender-neutral as possible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:48:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26302960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reanimatorjuice/pseuds/reanimatorjuice
Summary: A list of rather lengthy NSFW headcanons in regards to one Jonathan Crane.
Kudos: 11





	Jonathan Crane NSFW A-Z

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this a couple of weeks ago and debated whether or not it should ever see the light of day, but eventually said: "fuck it." 
> 
> A few notes beforehand though: 
> 
> \- For the most part, I like to stick as close as to what would probably be canon as possible. That's where my ideas are primarily from, but I then like to consider what seems to be the general consensus in fanon, as I usually agree with that a lot as well. You'll probably see pure self-indulgence on my end a couple of times though with little to no regard for what is most likely. 
> 
> \- I am very much a Scarecrow/Riddler stan, but this was written without that in mind. My headcanons would probably have to be rewritten entirely if I wanted to make this same list in relation to Nygma. 
> 
> \- Sexuality headcanon is basically homoromantic and possibly somewhere on the ace spectrum but just... very repressed. However, as I said in the tags, besides like one sentence this could be read gender-neutral!
> 
> \- I use humor sometimes, just speaking as myself in here because this was actually written with no intention to post it anywhere. Sorry if that shatters "the flow" alkdalkjsdk
> 
> Anyway, without further ado...

**A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)**

A little cold, not gonna lie. He tends to withdraw after sex when the moment has passed and he settles back into his usual persona. He doesn’t want to come off as growing  _ soft,  _ now does he? He may offer you a kiss on the forehead and light fingers through your hair, but then he gets out of bed and goes to shower on his own before returning to his work. Cuddling makes him physically uncomfortable -- the last thing he needs is hands running over his scars to remind him of the past. They say, “you never truly know someone until you’ve had sex with them,” and the thought of being known that intimately scares him.

**B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)**

Jonathan is actually very insecure and experiences a lot of self-hatred. One could argue that there isn’t any part of him that he likes about himself, save for his mind. But you tell him that you like his baby blue eyes, and his long, graceful fingers, and his sharp cheekbones, and he’s learning to live with that. He likes your mind, too, but he loves your long legs and grabbing at the soft, warm flesh of your thighs. 

**C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)**

He likes to cum inside and usually does, condom or not. He doesn’t really get anything out of giving a facial or coming on your stomach or ass. He’s speechless when you go to taste it (I am also a disgusting person), and loves it when you swallow. 

**D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)**

Not Being Straight might not be a dirty secret for others, but it is for him. Growing up in the deep South wasn’t easy. But that might be cheating. A dirty secret of his would be that… he has a bit of a kink for body worship and dirty talk. He wouldn’t say it outright, but hearing you describe how sexy you think he is and how much you actually enjoy his company just might make him tear up a bit. No one’s ever said that to him before, quite the opposite, actually. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d cried during sex. 

**E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)**

Experience is few and far between. Partially by choice and partially by circumstance. He is admittedly quite ugly with an abrasive personality and has severe trust and intimacy issues. However, despite being a very late bloomer and only having sex once in a blue moon, he definitely knows what he’s doing and does it well. He is a scientist and a researcher -- everything he does in life, he studies it meticulously and wants to do it right. 

**F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)**

Doggy-style, because a lifetime of bullying and abuse has led to deep insecurity that he can’t shake, so he’d prefer a position where you can’t look at him or really even touch him. However, he might pull your head back by the hair, or with a hand around your neck under the jaw to have some semblance of dominance. 

**G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)**

Very serious. He’s not big on humor anyway. 

**H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)**

If it isn’t obvious already, Jonathan does not take care of himself. He has other things to worry about and doesn’t even think about self-care. When his hair isn’t dry, tangled, and otherwise damaged, it’s oily. He only cuts it when it starts to get in his eyes. As for body hair, he’s basically completely hairless, and not because he shaves. But for what little body hair he has, there is no grooming to be done. 

**I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)**

Don’t really know how to answer this because of the other questions akljdlskdjk. But uh, like I said, he has Major Intimacy Issues so he’s still getting over his habit of “wham bam thank you ma’am.” He likes touching you all over a _lot --_ being both inside and wrapped around you -- but would prefer if you didn’t return the favor. He is inexperienced with sex but even more so with romance. He displays his care through actions, not words. 

**J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)**

Southern Baptist guilt. Jon grew up being taught that masturbation is a sin and wouldn’t want to be caught dead in the act, so he was too scared to try. Not to mention his level of sexual education was  **zero** so he didn’t exactly know how to pleasure himself anyway. As an adult, he is just too consumed by work to both realize when he needs to get off and to bother to take a break from his work to make time for what he sees as a frustrating, distracting basic human instinct. Probably why he’s so grumpy all the time. 

**K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)**

Fearplay,  _ obviously.  _ Fearplay might not even be a kink and could even be delving into fetish territory. Other forms of edgeplay such as needles, knives, etc. He is a certified sadist. He’s very good with needles -- takes his sweet time to place each one under the skin, and creates designs that belong in a museum. His favorite is placing them all down your back and sticking feathers in the needle hubs to look like crow wings. 

**L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)**

Jon is the opposite of an exhibitionist so the bedroom is where he is most comfortable.  _ However,  _ bending you over his work desk when you distract him? Perhaps. 

**M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)**

He is rarely the one to initiate, so you usually have to be the one to do it. He was a psychiatrist so he’s not completely oblivious to what you’re getting at, but as he’s still coming to terms with the thought that someone actually wants to be with him, instead of rubbing his shoulders or nibbling his ear and pulling at his hand toward the bedroom, you usually have to ask bluntly for what you want. He can get caught up in his work and might be averse to the idea at first, but in the end, he never turns down the offer. 

**N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)**

Mostly the obvious, I think. He doesn’t like anything in his ass, doesn’t like piss and scat or anything gross like that, and doesn’t like his partner acting like an actual child. 

**O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)**

He does NOT enjoy giving oral, however, he  _ quite  _ enjoys receiving it. There’s something about it to him that’s even more sinful than regular intercourse, and he gets a dark satisfaction at hearing you choke on it. A sloppy deepthroat is his weakness. 

**P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)**

He  _ tries  _ to be slow and sensual, at least at first, but eventually, he can’t control his desire anymore and becomes fast and rough. Fast and rough is more impersonal and feeds into his sadistic side, whereas if it’s sensual he worries that his partner would consider that a green flag to touch him anywhere and everywhere, which runs a shiver up his spine at the thought. 

**Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)**

Quickies used to be all there was for him because he saw sex as a chore and wanted it done quickly, but now, proper sex is the only way to go unless he’s felt  _ really  _ bottled up recently. If he’s only going to have sex rarely, he’d better make it count and draw out the pleasure. 

**R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)**

He actually has a lot of kinks he’d like to try and explore, so he is absolutely game for almost anything you bring up. The naughtier and more sinful, the better. Jonathan has a lot of childhood trauma to get over and his favorite form of therapy is anything that’d make his granny roll in her grave. 

**S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)**

He’s OLD, this man has no energy!! He’s through after one unless you want to make him almost pass out. He can last that one round for a long ass time though. He rather ashamedly finished way too fast when he first started getting sexual because of that Repression™, but with time he’s trained himself to hold off until he’s pushed you to your limits and gets you to finish first, it’s only polite. 

**T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)**

Doesn’t own any toys or use any, besides the aforementioned instruments of pain. He feels like they’re unnecessary and a waste of money when he’s perfectly capable of pleasure on his own. Maybe more of that internalized fear of sex just for pleasure and fun, though he’d never admit that and probably doesn’t even realize. 

**U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)**

He can be quite unfair. In the past, he would prioritize his own pleasure over the other person’s. With you, though, he likes to prolong it. His observant eyes know the signs of your oncoming orgasm, and just as he pushes you to the brink, he pulls away and the process starts over again. He has a lot of practiced self-control, and this can go for a very long time. 

**V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)**

He’s quiet. Very quiet. But you learn to tell how he expresses his enjoyment, such as the changes in his breath like a soft gasp or a slow, shuddering breath. A whispered swear. However, the time eventually comes where even the quietest of men can no longer hide the building pleasure, and as he unravels you finally get a grunt or groan out of him and if you’re lucky, taking the Lord’s name in vain. 

**W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)**

He has chronic pain. Sex actually helps since it gets the endorphins going which helps ease pain, but afterwords his muscles settle and become stiff and painful again. When you first suggested a hot bath soak and a deep tissue massage, he was suspicious, but once you did those things for him he was never the same. He never thought he’d ever find relief, but at least for a brief moment, he finds it with you. 

**X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)**

“Needle-dick Crane, that’s what they call him. Long and thin.” As much as I joke about that, considering I believe that Jonathan has Marfan Syndrome, and being alarmingly tall, thin, and skeletal would likely mean his dick is as thin but lengthy as the rest of his appendages, I actually think he is surprisingly well-endowed. He has big dick energy but prefers to show and not tell. And uncircumcised, in my humble opinion. He was born at home in the sticks what were they gonna do DIY it? 

**Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)**

He’s older and used to repressing himself, so his sex drive is quite low. Usually, he only has sex when that nagging horniness refuses to go away and he can’t focus on his precious work, so he finally relents and lets off steam. However, he is learning and getting used to seeking out intimacy not just because he needs it, but because he simply wants to and actually enjoys it. 

**Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)**

Jonathan has terrible insomnia, so he will remain awake long after you two are finished. If he is feeling particularly indulgent, he’ll let you curl into his side while he reads and nurses a coffee because he knows he won’t go to bed any time soon anyway. And how could he waste the opportunity to watch how soft your expression becomes when you are asleep and vulnerable? That is a level of trust that he isn’t used to. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd genuinely love to hear people's own headcanons, whether they agree or disagree, and other thoughts :3
> 
> hmu on tumblr @floridian-cryptid


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